In which we meet annoying author inserts and Mary sues on all kinds of
by dreamstar potter
Summary: My first troll fic. Has a Mary Sue. What is she? She is a hunter. Is an author insert. She is transferring and she supposed to have "allies" great. Not to be taken seriously. Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

In which we meet annoying author inserts and Mary sues on all kinds of levels.

AN: Hey guys! This is my first troll fic. Please don't destroy me because of my author insert and or Mary sues. I have only watched the second episode of Supernatural, which makes this more of a Troll fic than ever. Sorry if I offend you deeply, I understand fully. Try to enjoy.

Troll fic summary: Vivae Michelson a hunter from Florida is transferred under Bobby's employment. She just had to have "allies." Great.

Chapter one

A very reluctant transfer

She was absolutely, positively pissed. Completely angry with Amanda for telling her this. She was getting a transfer. A hunter transfer, from her safe and sound family business. Vivae huffed angrily as she stalked across the hallway of the office building, clutching her binder portfolio so tightly that grooves dug into her skin. She kicked the door open to Amanda's office and slammed down the binder hard upon the desk making the sensible woman jump with surprise, newspaper clippings floating in the air and landing on the desk and on the floor.

"Really Vivae?" Amanda asked grumpily swooping under the desk, snatching up her clippings.

"A transfer, Amanda," Vivae growled.

"Yes and?" Amanda asked, tucking a wisp of soft ginger hair behind her ear and straightening her stack of clippings.

"Why? Why a transfer, Amanda I was doing fine being the state wide supernatural hunter!" Vivae turned away from Amanda, rubbing her temples wearily.

"You weren't growing Vivae, socially I mean. You need to connect with other hunters nationwide," Amanda said curtly, sharp green eyes trained on dark brown eyes. Vivae sighed; of course Amanda would bring this up. For years, Vivae has been hunting the supernatural strictly on her own, being successful every time. Her sister, Alexei was a hunter as well, but went on hiatus when she went to college. So, Vivae was working by herself.

"So this is why I'm going to transfer?" Vivae asked irritably, slumping dramatically on a chair.

"Yes," Amanda said, "You are going under the employment of Bobby, a retired hunter somewhere in Wisconsin or something," Vivae rolled her eyes with sheer annoyance.

"Will this increase my pay, Amanda?" Vivae asked, "Will this continue the family business? I don't think Alexei is going off her hiatus for a long time,"

"I believe this will increase your pay tenfold, there is a lot of strange happenings there," Amanda said, a small smirk appearing on her face. Vivae's brown face brightened.

"Anything to keep the family business,"

"Good, pack up, you're leaving tomorrow,"

and so, Vivae went home to her apartment complex, reluctantly, packing up for her transfer.

AN: Yep. It's short. It's a trollfic what does anybody expect? It's my first trollfic please hate nicely.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two.

Bobby Singer

AN: I appreciate the review I got! Thank you, thank you, and thank you! This is the second chapter to the Mary Sue story thingy! May not make sense, but it's a troll fic!

Nonfiction note: I am the oldest and my sister is about two years younger than me, she thinks I'm annoying and over lovey and she wants to become a lawyer when she grows up. Personally, I think I'm Dean and my sister's Sam and my best friend is Castiel.

-Line-

Vivae did not like the idea of having all her weapons separately shipped to where Bobby might be and her salt had to be three ounces. Too small in her opinion. She passed through the checkpoint her clothes all in a carry-on bag, her salt safe in her pocket. It was a rule of the family demon hunting business to not trust anybody or anything around you.

-Dis is a line-

Kansas was beautiful and rather cold in the fall, different from her tropical home down south (Amanda was wrong, it was Kansas). She was wearing a thin pair of jeans and a blue windbreaker which didn't protect her from the cold much (apart from the windbreaker). Amanda told her that Bobby or someone related to him will pick her up, take her to headquarters then she'll start her first assignment. She sat on a bench, pulling out her small vial of salt and slipping it into her jacket pocket. A very old car drove up next to her bench and the window rolled down, showing a young man with green eyes and brown hair styled in a crew cut.

"Are you Vivae Michelson?" The young man had a startling deep voice for someone so young.

"Yes," Vivae said, standing up warily, she fingered her salt and uncorked the vial with her thumb. She slung the bag over her shoulder.

"Bobby's at home, he couldn't come, we'll take you to him though. We work with him," Vivae nodded, knowing this clearly was a lie and these were demons but she'll have to comply to properly throw salt at them, even the tiniest grain of salt counts. She slid into the backseat of the car, using her bulky bag as an armrest. The second person in the passenger seat was another man, younger than the driver with wavier hair and the same green eyes. Vivae looked at the younger man, no emotion on her face. Although she will not admit it, he was handsome- a very handsome demon. As they drove, Vivae waited for the right moment, so far nothing was happening. The younger man introduced himself as Sam Winchester. Winchester, it was an English name kind of like a parody of Manchester, but not a parody. Winchester, a very familiar name, the famous Winchester hunters heard and spotted all around the northern country where Vivae heard some things happening. The other man was of course, Dean Winchester, the Dean Winchester the blood thirsty hunter who doesn't go down without a fight.

Vivae was not well known amongst the hunters like the Winchesters. Both were much older than her by years and years, yet they looked very young. Like Sam and Dean, Vivae learned to be a hunter from day one; she just wasn't from a well-known family. Vivae couldn't take down demons, ghosts and the occasional poltergeist like the Winchesters can. Just to be sure that these were the Winchester brothers and not demons she took out her uncorked vial and as carefully as she could, and sprinkled some salt into Dean's hair. She turned carefully to Sam and did the same thing. Nothing happened and she sighed with relief. She put the cap back on to the vial and sat back, allowing her stressed muscles to unravel. They were at Bobby's house which looked more like a house than anything else.

Vivae stopped in front of the house, realizing Winchester headquarters weren't as fabulous as she expected. Oh well, just need to deal with this stupid transfer. She went inside of the strangely comfy home and saw a man who was stout with a beard and a cap.

"You're Vivae Michelson, right? This Amanda lady forwarded me on this?" The man asked.

"Yes," Vivae said, "Are you Bobby?"

"The one and only," The man said, he handed her a bottle of cold water and she smiled a little to herself: Holy Water was more effective in taking down demons than salt. She uncapped it and all she needed to do was sip a small amount. Bobby looked slightly relieved at what she did and she walked over to the bar which the floor had a drawn pentagram. She looked down and saw she was in it.

"I heard of the Winchester brothers for so long, honored to see them, so, when do I start?" Vivae asked swallowing more holy water for she was thirsty.

"You're working with Dean and Sam," Bobby said absently. Vivae's eyes widened,

"I am?"

"Sure are, you'll follow them on all of their operations," Bobby said, "You'll have to carry that around, though,"

"Sure," Vivae said, "No problem, but what about _my _weapons?"

"You brought your own weapons?" Bobby asked narrowing his eyes.

"Yes," Vivae said impatiently, "The point…"

"The point is there was no need,"

"I don't want to use the Winchester's weapons!" Vivae said dramatically, "I like my own,"

"Even your own identity cards?" Bobby asked.

"I don't really need to use them, it's easy to act stupid instead," Vivae grumbled, "I keep them when I need them though,"

-Dis is a line-

A few hours after she came from Florida, her weapons were shipped to her by a shady looking delivery guy.

"Your own weapons?" Dean asked as she opened a checkered backpack, heavy with metal.

"Yep," Vivae said, "I'm more comfortable with my own,"

Inside there were a few hand guns, a bag of rock salt bullets, long iron chained necklaces, a few hex bags and another few bags which were more suspicious and resembled cherry bombs, boxes of chalk, and a huge jumbo package of table salt.

"Salt bombs," Vivae confirmed lifting a bag to show Dean, "You light it up and throw it at whatever salt repels. Either the salt kills the creature or the explosion does because it's soaked in thermite. The others are soaked in kerosene, because I'm still experimenting.

"Thermite?" Dean asked, Sam was strangely pale,

"You soaked salt in thermite?" Sam asked faintly.

"Pure, thermite," Vivae said corrected cheerfully, "It's a bit extreme, that's why I only soaked one batch of salt, the reaction is very sudden when you light it up," In another pocket were several bottles full of kerosene and others full of unidentifiable substances, "It's not strictly speaking, legal, the only things you'll be able to identify is the Aluminum Powder and the iron oxide. It's all pyrotechnic," The last thing she took out was a small water pistol and a bottle of water.

"Holy Water pistols," She said, "Highly effective in taking down demons, but seeing as you're the Winchester brothers there will be no actual need,"

"You don't have many weapons," Sam observed.

"My bigger expanse is back in Florida, I just brought my specialty," Vivae said, "I can make my own, so when do we begin the first assignment?"

-Line-

A few notes, Iron Oxide and aluminum are one of the main components to a thermite mixture, there are about two other substances that are needed to be used but Mythbusters refused to show their viewers. It is highly combustible. Seeing how my Author Insert is a huge Mary sue, she knows how to make Thermite and soak salt with it. By the time the thermite is lit and is exploding the salt will be converted chemically to another substance, thus making the thermite cherry bomb useless against demons. The same goes with kerosene once it's lit, the salt will be something else. Some other chemical that won't affect the chemical compound and the effectiveness of salt will have to be used to take down demons, but I am not sure what. My Mary Sue is what she is: Perfect and if Thermite and Kerosene are effective against demons when mixed with salt, they are. The water pistol is sort of canon, Kevin, That prophet from whatever season in Supernatural used a water gun full of holy water to see if Sam and Dean were demons. If I am scientifically incorrect about the Kerosene and Thermite I apologize. I hope you liked this chapter the way you would like a Troll Fic.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

The first assignment

AN: Oh my god. BLESS YOU TOO. *Flails happily* I want to say that it goes downhill from here. I don't know how to write cases from Supernatural. Since, I am purposely making this bad, the first assignment won't be good.

Enjoy if you can.

-Line-

"Tomorrow," Bobby said gruffly to Vivae, the moment she asked.

"Oh, I best get myself some sleep, when are we leaving?"

"When they find it right,"

Vivae decided not to question Bobby any further. Although it was barely sunset, Vivae went to sleep, having nothing better to do.

The next morning was considerably slow; Vivae ate breakfast and didn't talk to her new allies. She analyzed her weapons once more, making sure these men didn't steal. Vivae furiously brushed her rough, tangly locks back irritated at the fact a few strands fell on the floor. Vivae's hair was long when she put relaxer in it and straightened it, but when her hair gets wet it curls back and becomes a poufy, Diana Ross mess. Now, it was fairly manageable. Now, it barely touched her shoulders in a stiff braid for a pony tail and hair that stuck out. At some points, Vivae wished to just hack off her hair with a knife and some points wet it and twist it in a braid. When it was time to leave for wherever Dean and Sam were going, Vivae went into the backseat, still droopy eyed and sleepy. A familiar song floated to her ears, a memory stirred, she remembered her father happily playing classic rock in the car. She refuses to hum to the nostalgic song. As the day passed, she doesn't acknowledge Sam or Dean, thankfully they don't try to talk to her. Now that Vivae was transferred to work under Bobby Singer's wing with two men who knew the area better than her, she didn't care where they went and what they fought. It is nice to know, it's exciting to listen in on their brief conversation. She stares at the window purposely, her eyes on the trees passing by, her ears sharp and attentive as possible.

"She's awfully quiet," Sam said, "Maybe you should talk to her,"

"Why?" Dean asked, "She should be the one starting the conversation,"

"Maybe she's shy," Sam suggested.

"She doesn't trust us, and personally, I don't trust her,"

Understandable, knowing the Winchesters she would be surprised if they did trust her. Vivae turned to her bag and pulled out her IPod and just began to play on Minecraft Pocket Edition. She just sunk into her game world, tuning out their once interesting conversation.

"_Noooo," _Vivae said in a low hiss, _"Why, no- get back creeper, no- god dangit- No!" _ She cursed under her breath clicking _respawn _and ending up with nothing and back.

"What's the matter Vivae?" Sam was the first to talk to her outside of information.

"Oh," Vivae flushed with embarrassment, "Nothing- just Minecraft, nothing much,"

"Minecraft?" Sam asked, confused, "You play Minecraft? Isn't that kind of a kid's game?"

"It's addicting," Vivae admitted, "I have to play once every day,"

The car went silent as Vivae exited her Minecraft game, playing music to herself instead.

When they got to that place, Vivae paid for her own room, earning herself alone time. Dean knocked on the door, saying that in ten minutes they'll be looking around.

"What will I need?" She asked, "Weapons or anything?"

"Not really weapons but maybe fake ID," Dean said and he shut the door. Vivae didn't want to follow their lead, be a fake FBI agent, and be risky like that. She just has to deal with it, the fake Ids were unnecessary, inefficient and stupid. Easy to look around instead, be stupid, act like a conspiracy theorist or a Crypto zoologist or something. Sam, Dean and Vivae went back to the Impala towards a old folk home.

"Why don't you have a suit on or something?" Dean asked.

"I don't need it," Vivae said in a smooth voice, a small smirk on her face, "Easy to stay as close to the truth as possible," A brief glare from Dean, a questioning stare from Sam. Whatever. When the two men went to talk to the old man who was the Ghost's brother she listened in and smiled. So Dean has a ghost disease? Passes from similar personality to similar personality, continues until each victim dies. Apparently, according the autopsy report she stole from Sam, the heart was completely healthy before the attack. That meant the victim dies of a stressed heart, stress in high levels like that brings homeostasis kicking in and as the body struggles to maintain the inner balance the person him/herself begins to panic brainwise. Then, the body sort of wears out and the person die of shock. She sat in the corner of Sam and Dean's little apartment hotel thing, re reading the autopsy report and listening to Dean slowly be overcome by stress. He spat out a wood chip and she looked up, that meant the ghost was at a wood factory of some sort. Vivae was slightly disturbed by the road burn Dean was getting, the way he was scratching it.

"Stop scratching that," Vivae said, "It'll only make it worse, numb the road burn it deters ghost disease a little bit,"

Dean was just getting more and more freaked out, scratching and scratching until blood was staining his fingers. She stood up and pulled out a towel from her bag, wetting it at the sink and taking Dean's arms and rubbing the insides gently. They were grossly red in seconds.

"Your body is trying to maintain homeostasis," Vivae said quietly as she continued to sooth the road burns, "It's doing everything in its power to keep you alive,"

"How?"

"You're stressed out," She said simply and she stopped rubbing the wounds, "The point is to keep calm, breathe calmly, help your body out,"

"You're not really helping," Sam said coldly, "It's not that easy,"

"I'm aware how a ghost disease works, I've had one once. Overly sad, overly lovey, crying all the time, awful," She shook her head, "eventually the ghost was got rid of, but I never felt such overwhelming emotion,"

She blinked and turned back to rubbing Dean's arms.

_Breaking the ice, awkward but a start to a very… nice relationship. _

_Hm. Nice, that's the sheer guess. _

_Maybe, just maybe, a better relationship may begin. _

-Line-

Notes: The case was taken from episode six, season four, Yellow Fever (Forgive me if I'm wrong) I'm figuring the guys who died from heart attacks because of the 'fear factor' thing, was because their bodies tried to maintain homeostasis, trying to handle stress. They were unable to handle the stress and they died of shock. Imagining my Author Insert/Mary Sue seeing Dean Scratch that burn and going to help him isn't surprising to me. Personally, I would've grabbed a wet towel and rubbed the blood and scratches away even though it's hopeless. Hope you enjoyed the trollfic, not supposed to make sense.

Non Fiction note: I'm a huge eavesdropper. I love to listen in on conversation for fun. My Author Insert would've done the same, listen in on Sam and Dean talk while she watches the trees pass. Although they'll notice in about half a second.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

In which Vivae sees Dean die for two minutes and we meet adorable angels.

AN: I decided to update this because I'm on a roll. I can't make this misspelled and childish because SOMEONE will point out that this is terrible and that I'm a terrible writer because they haven't been properly reading that this is a troll fic. But it is terrible and it is a troll fic, so try to enjoy this chapter.

I haven't really complained too much about reviews, but… review? Please?

Castiel is utterly adorable and he will be around…

-Line-

Vivae happily stayed behind as Dean and Sam went ahead to the wood factory. In about forty eight hours or less, Dean Winchester would die of shock. Knowing a person would die is horrible and sad, but the stupid man went ahead and caught it. It wasn't his fault, but at the same time it was his fault for being a jerk. For about an hour she was reading, but then she got bored and went to visit the station. Through some blinds she spotted the sheriff frantically rubbing the insides of his arms, bleeding profusely. Passively, she watched as blood spotted the leather seat in the office and the pieces of a4 paper he kept near the printer on his desk. He looked afraid. She came back to the motel, back to Sam and Dean's room, waiting once more.

When they came back Sam nodded his confirmation.

"Ghost,"

"What type?"

"A buruburu has to be killed with fear," Sam said and he glanced at Dean whose eyes were wide and his head whipping around with terror.

"Did Bobby tell you or something?" Vivae asked curiously.

"Yep, he's fluent in Japanese," Sam said, "So, Vivae, he already has hallucinations can you monitor Dean? He has two hours left,"

"That's surprising; I thought it was longer," Vivae said, "What do I have to do?"

"Make him not trash the hotel room," Sam said, "I'm going to take down the ghost," Vivae nodded reluctantly and lead Dean to the couch/bed to rest. Sam turned on his heel and left.

-Line-

Vivae never felt so afraid for one person. He was trampling around, shrieking uncontrollably. She had to follow closely behind so he won't wreck himself. His arms were profusely bleeding just like the sheriff's. She grabbed his wrists and forced him back onto the bed, he was trying to reach towards the bible and she went ahead and got it for him.

"Calm down, please calm down, Dean! Get ahold of yourself!" She shoved the bible in his hand and he clutched it to his chest. It was hopeless; Dean Winchester was so close to die. Bursting in, brandishing a gun was the sheriff, his eyes ready to pop out of their sockets. His whole arms gloved with blood. He pointed the gun at Dean and Vivae and Dean stood before she can force him down again.

"Please sheriff wait-," Dean was forced back by Vivae as the sheriff finally died. She stared, horror rising in her chest as the man fell. His heart already gave out and Dean was next.

"Why was I infected?" Dean asked eyes glazed over with delirium, "Why?"

"It's a ghost," Vivae said in a panicky, high pitched voice, "A ghost disease, Sam will solve everything, Sam and Bobby,"

"No," Dean said, he stood, but stumbled violently on a table, "Get away! Go away!" He was gasping and convulsing, gulping in breaths of air, desperate for air.

"Dean! Please, calm down! No! You will not die on me!" Vivae lifted Dean by the jacket, tears welling up in her eyes. Dean goes still, and his eyes look blank. She starts to panic, allowing tears to fall.

"Dean!" Vivae screamed, "Dean! NO!" She let go of Dean's jacket and sat there, tears rolling down her cheeks. There was no point to wipe her tears, Dean was de-

Oh…

Dean's back arched, his eyes flashed with surprise he gasped for air, clutching his chest, coughing. Vivae helped Dean up, hastily wiping her tears sniffling like a big baby.

"Dean!" Vivae turned around and flung her arms around him. It was an extremely awkward moment, for Dean wasn't really hugging back, "You're alive! Don't you dare scare me like that?" She separated from him and hit him on the shoulder. Dean was really confused he rubbed his shoulder and stepped over the body of the Sheriff (She realized his name was Linus Britton) and walked out. She went back to her hotel room on the fourth floor and gathered her bulky bag and unfortunately so far, useless weapons.

So the three were on the road, yet again. Vivae saw someone close to die, and was so far on the brink of being useless to Sam and Dean.

-Line-

There were so many assignments, and from there, Vivae was proved fairly useful. In the first demon fight, the kerosene salt bombs were useful; she threw them with precision and swiftness. She overheard some words from Dean and Sam about having another ally named Castiel. She didn't question who Castiel is. When they got to the next town, San told her they'll be meeting Castiel.

"I overheard about you meeting Castiel," She said with a brief smile, "Sounds great,"

"No objections?" Sam asked.

"I don't care," Vivae said, "I'm not in charge of this rodeo," So she, Sam and Dean ended up in a shady looking restaurant. They ordered their food and coming into the restaurant was a rugged, handsome man wearing a dress shirt and tie and a trench coat. He immediately sat next to Dean, who was sitting across from Vivae, and he acknowledged Sam and Dean, but not Vivae. When the three began to talk, she tuned them out with disinterest and continued to chew on her plain burger. This must be the Castiel the men were talking about; she hoped he wouldn't be this cute looking.

"Vivae?" Sam tore her out of her thoughts. She looked up and nodded briefly, "I'd like you to meet Castiel; he's an angel of the lord,"

"No kidding," Vivae said, "Angel is the right word for it," Castiel stared at her blankly and Sam and Dean looked confused. Vivae didn't notice them, she wasn't looking at them.

"Was that an insult?" Castiel asked.

"No," Vivae said, "You look good," She looked away once more and rolled her eyes. For an all knowing deity, this guy was surely clueless about the simple things.

"So," Castiel said, "Is she your ally now?"

"Yeah," Dean said.

"Careful, she has a temper,"

"So far she's been quiet," Sam said, "She's doing her job, and she's doing it right," finally, she was given an assignment and an EMF. She was to investigate any demonic activity going on in the area. Vivae decided not to look it, but was aware, that the group was giving her this assignment to get rid of her. Vivae couldn't argue to herself with that, but it hurts- only a little. Slinging her weapon bag over her shoulder and sighing not out of happiness but out of loneliness, she went on. She wasn't surprised to see the EMF not going off in the area. Vivae continued on with boredom and as she passed a log cabin in a forest nearby, the EMF began to make sounds and light up slightly. Must be some radioactive stuff interfering with the EMF. To confirm it, she did something very stupid; she went into the direction of the interference. The EMF got wilder and wilder as she got near the log cabin. The door was semi open and she gently pushed it open, heart pounding erratically. To her shock, two people were lying face down on the floor, obviously dead. Blood trailed from the two people's necks and something awful was pungent in the air: Sulfur. Demons were dangerous, and they smelled awful. What would demons want with these two innocent people? She stooped down to one of the victims and saw the hint of a gash across the neck. So, it slit the man's neck? She pulled out a pair of rubber gloves and pulled them on. She turned the man around on his back and saw that he bled out. Cutting from pulse to pulse in a near perfect fashion, in a pocket of her backpack was a kit of droppers and test tubes. She took out three test tubes and filled the first one with a sample of the man's blood and the other sample with the woman's blood. The third test tube was for the sulfur residue that this demon unwittingly left behind. The people were killed not too long ago and were killed quickly, that means it's out to get someone else. She explored the rest of the house, pursing her lips. These people were certainly innocent, she continued to explore the house and found nothing, she gathered some more samples of the blood from the people and the sulfur residue and left. Vivae didn't know whether she should mourn for the death of these people, she didn't feel anything. She walked from the woods into town, it was night, and it was cold. She walked across the cold street, cursing herself for not knowing Sam and Dean's cell phone number. She continued walking down the street swiftly. Vivae bumped into someone and she turned automatically to apologize the man smiled at her and her eyes widened when she saw the flashing black eyes that covered the whole eye.

"I'm sorry;" she said stiffly, "Have a nice night,"

"No problem," the man said cheerfully and he turned. Carefully, Vivae pulled out the water pistol fully loaded with holy water and she turned on the man.

"Freeze," She couldn't help her cheesiness, "I know what you are, if you keep moving you'll be blessed, got me?" The man froze and raised both hands, turning around slowly a cruel smile on his face.

"You got me Vivae," The demon said, "I did kill those people, by the way, sick surprise isn't it," Vivae nodded with agreement, her finger on the trigger.

She knew the reason why it knew her name was because it read minds, and boy did it lie.

"You're aware that Sam and Dean don't want anything to do with you," The demon smiled, "You're pretty freakish Vivae, no one likes you. You are cruel and mean,"

"Well," Vivae reasoned, she felt very hurt. She had to convince herself this was a lie, "So are you, you and your gang of Jedi," She pulled the trigger; a squirt of holy water was all it needed. It began to scream and in a flash, Vivae lunged and pulled it into an alleyway. She pulled out her iPod, and turned on the voice memos to the proper exorcism. The body fell limp and she sighed with relief. The man was unconscious and she called the ambulance and left the man where he was. She continued to walk quickly down the sidewalk, wondering if, for the first time the demon told the truth. If it did, good for it, she was told the opinions of Sam and Dean to her. She sure can't change opinions. This was in fact, her job to hunt down the supernatural, not worry about what Coworkers think of her. In fact wasn't she not for this idea the whole time? It was a sheer guess that this was that they grow on you. Where was their freaking hotel anyway? Not that they would tell her anyway…

Maybe that Demon was right, she was freakish and maybe no one likes her. Vivae tightened her thin sweater around herself tighter, murmuring bitterly,

_"Hunting's ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will, five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain and a hundred percent reason to remember its name," _

She pressed her lips together and squeezed her eyes tight, going in the direction of the restaurant where they first assigned her. It was really getting late and she left her DNA and chemical identification kit in the stupid Impala. _Stupid Impala, stupid Sam, Stupid Dean, stupid transfer… stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid… _it was starting to get too cold for her liking

"Hey, need a ride?" She looked up, feeling more irritated than ever and so ready to try out her thermite salt bomb. It was Dean, a small grin on his face; he was alone in the Impala. All of her stuff was in there.

"Dean!" She exclaimed, "You didn't tell me the name of the hotel!"

"You didn't call!" Dean said, "You didn't bother to ask us!"

"Do I _have _to?" Vivae asked, her expression faltered briefly, "I'm sorry, you're right I should've asked,"

"No kidding," Dean grumbled, "Get in here, we need a full report from you still," So Vivae went into the back seat of the Impala (It was her official seat) happy that someone at least expects her to do something. It's still a long way from actual caring but it's something.

-Line-

Notes, you already know the drill, the song makes this even worse. I didn't bother have Castiel _not _know her, because he _does_ know her. He knows everybody! Not gonna change the fact that Castiel knows nearly everything and everybody. The thing about Dean's near death and Vivae's reaction is that I'm a huge wimp when it comes to death of anybody right before my eyes so since Vivae's Mary sue + Author insert that equals less sobbing than real life. The whole 'no one likes you' bit was a part of the Mary Sue's tragic past thingy. So far I don't know what type this Mary Sue is. I don't even know the types of Mary Sues out there! PM me a list of types and tell me which type Vivae is! I'm not going to change Sam's beloved seat in the front seat, no matter how many times Vivae may decide to call shotgun for the heck of it. (That previous sentence may not make sense and I refuse to change it because reasons.) The song is a fragment of Remember the Name by Fort Minor. Not supposed to make sense guys! Just a small reminder, please read it, then review it because everyone is reviewing Found and while it's nice, it gets boring.

**Review Question! **

**What would you do if Dean died and you could do nothing about it? **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

Smart but definitely not as smart as Mr. Stanford here. AKA: The full report/other things

AN: Unrelated title guys but that's the fic being a troll! It turns out people still need her for other things (still loads away from romance and caring) and those other things require being exceptionally smart…

Enjoy the next chapter of the troll fic!

-Line-

They drove to the hotel which Vivae cared less about knowing its name. Vivae checked into her room and she was dragged to the room across from hers by Dean. Sam and Dean's hotel room was much fancier than her little one bed. There was a table for analyzing stuff and two queen beds, side by side and a window- a pleasant balcony. Sam was sitting elegantly cross-legged on a squashy chair.

"Anything new?" Sam asked, "anything different?" Vivae sat on a small desk and nodded stiffly. She pulled out the samples, the sulfur one first, then the blood samples.

"Demons," She said, "the sulfur sample," She handed Sam the sample and she laid the blood samples on the table

"It murdered a man and a woman in a log cabin in the nearby forest. There wasn't any information about them I could quickly gather, except their throats were slit at the pulse, the other thing- I got blood samples of the people. I don't know why I got them though,"

"Do you know the name of the demon?" Dean asked, shaking the tubes with the blood samples.

"No, but its vessel was a balding man with a suit and tie," Vivae said.

"Was?"

"It bumped into me on the sidewalk. Shot it with holy water and did the exorcism," She shrugged boredly. Sam and Dean glanced at each other with knowing looks.

"Although we didn't tell you, we figured you would at least over hear…"

"The gates of Hell are open," Sam said, "So the demon can come back if it wanted,"

"Well that sucks," Vivae grumbled, "I put the exorcism on voice mail for nothing and still, I don't know the point of the deaths of those two people," She turned to Sam and snatched up the blood samples and stuffed them in Sam's hand.

"Okay Mr. Stanford, you are going to get DNA results from a clinic," Vivae said.

"Why don't you get it?" Sam said, "You do have FBI id do you?"

"I'm not very good at faking it, plus I'm not much of a risk taker. They call people like me, _wimps_," Vivae stopped talking in her lofty voice and stared plainly at Sam, "You're much more elegant than I am Sam. I stumble upon my words like a bumbling fool. It's just a DNA test,"

"You're such a drama queen," Sam grumbled as he went over to the suit and tie and slipped the blood samples in.

"I'm _the_ drama queen, mind you!" Vivae said as she walked out of the room, "I have no idea what the case it about, I just _go with the flow!" _

-Line-

Short. Deal with it. I would like someone to go ahead do a commentary on my troll fic and add it to bad fanfiction please.

A high order, but still… pleeease? Or, like, a read aloud or something!

Notes, I do in fact go with the flow, and sometimes I wish not to know about certain things because I am lazy. The blood and sulfur samples were just there because Trollfic.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Dating an Angel, and other things.

AN: I like your response! Thank you! Kixlo(?). Feel free to answer my previous question other readers!

Gonna be pretty short. A friend read my story and said that Vivae-Authorchan wasn't much of a Mary Sue, is this true? I certainly think it isn't. Trolololololol time!

-Line-

She went back to her own hotel room, going straight to her worn out Hogwarts bag and rummaging for her Ipod. She unlocked it, her finger swift across the touchpad and went back to her terribly delayed Minecraft Game. The DNA test was going to benefit both her and the Winchesters and it proved her to be useful. She sank deeper into the world of blocks for everything and was in the middle of mining her favorite resource: Diamonds when a voice broke through her Minecraft induced thoughts.

"The Demon you found, do you know him?" Vivae let out a small gasp, slapping her hand over her lips to block off her scream.

"No," She said looking up, heart racing, and skin heating with hormones. Castiel was a handsome devil- err angel and never in a million years would he talk to her, "Why?" Her voice was appallingly breathless. Her eyes looked into his eyes, tracing the astonishing details of blue, remembering to ingrain the color into her retinas.

"He seems familiar," Castiel took a step back, his face looking like he was a buffering video. Vivae had to keep her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. He blinked once and turned back to her, still grim. Vivae thanked her dark skin once more for hiding her stupid blush.

"Uh, Castiel?" Vivae asked almost timidly, _the worst he could say is no… _"Can you, uh, go out with me or something?" Before he could swallow what she said ,

"I mean, as a friend, you know a friend date…. Thing," She amended quickly, "If you don't have time or anything that's okay,"

"No," Castiel said, she deflated. "I do have time, what day would it be?" A full feeling filled her chest and she said in a shaky voice:

"Saturday, hopefully?"

Castiel nodded, unsmiling. Vivae pursed her lips to keep from smiling herself.

"At 2:00," She added as Cas turned and disappeared in a quiet flutter of wings. Vivae was happy, she let out a breath she didn't she was holding, her heart was racing with elation and terror and mixed feelings of sadness that she couldn't see the angel smile. She twirled around the room, grinning like an idiot, a date. A date with the cutest guy she saw. Her first date, with a cute guy! Going out, with a cute guy! Does she mention a cute guy? Angel, to be specific but dang, how cuute. She shoved her hand into her bag when she lanced back to her spot and called her friend Fae.

"Hello?" She answered the phone.

"Guess what?" Vivae asked excitedly.

"What?" She asked, "Where are you anyway?"

"I got a date! With the cutest guy in the whole wide world! In Wisconsin or something…"

"What does he look like?" Fae asked interest sparking.

"Blue eyes, black hair and cutie patootie stubble,"

"That is cute," Fae confirmed, "Get me a picture will you?"

"No problem," Vivae said her voice for the first time, vibrant. She hung up the phone, slipping it back into her bag. She then looked into the mirror propped up against the wall. Her hair was a tangly, stiff, mess. Her body was too… gelatin. Her face scarred from being pimply and the lens of her glasses thick. Saturday was only two days away and she was less than ready. Well, she turned back to her Minecraft game.

-Saturday Night-

Vivae was panicked, her hair was more of a mess than ever and she didn't know what to do with it. Roughly, she tore off her rubber band and stuck it under the shower until it wet thoroughly. She tore out her gel and slicked her hair around until it was stylishly in curls. She threw on a pair of jeans, a black tee shirt and a loose sweater. Vivae took a deep breath and walked out of the hotel, her food money in her hand. Sam and Dean were staring at her curiously.

"You have somewhere to go?" Dean asked. She blushed furiously and mumbled something incoherent.

"Going out with Cas,"

Dean caught that and his eyes widened considerably.

"Oh, uhm, have fun," Dean said curtly. Vivae nodded fairly nervously and waited by the Impala for Castiel. He appeared with a flutter of wings and looked fairly surprised at Vivae's geld hair .

"Where do we go?" Vivae asked faintly, smiling even though Castiel was wearing his same Trench coat and scars.

"I don't know," Castiel said, "Where do you think?"

"White Castle?" Vivae suggested, "Do you know where it is?"

"Definitely," Castiel said his hand extended to touch her forehead and Vivae blacked out for a moment. The two appeared in front of White Castle. For the first time, out of the corner of her eye she saw Castiel smile to himself. Vivae pulled out her IPod and took a quick snapshot of Castiel. Cas and Vivae entered White Castle and ordered their food, the two were eating (Castiel was munching away on White Castle the most) and Vivae couldn't help but giggle at Castiel hungrily wolfing down his hamburgers.

"I have to admit, you're adorable," Vivae said with a smile.

Castiel merely looked at her, a small smile on his face. His mouth was still full of the hamburger.

"Are you on Angel Choir Castiel?" She asked carefully.

Castiel blinked and swallowed his hamburger.

"I'm a Seraphim, I don't sing,"

"Oh," Vivae said and they both sunk into silence again. What a date, huh? At least the guy is cute in whatever he's doing.

She began to leech off of the internet posting Castiel's picture on facebook. Vivae typed in: Cutie I am dating, Lol, so awkward.

It got one like and a response from Fae:

AKSHHH… Get Out of Here

-Line-

Notes: I've never been to White Castle. There's not one White Castle in Miami. It would be so awkward me and Cas out on a date. Nothing would happen- except Castiel wolfing down hamburgers like a fricking cutie. My friend if she found out I was dating Castiel she would be like, "Ugh, Get out of here! Take your cute selves with you,"

She absolutely loves Misha Collins and so do I, but I wouldn't date Castiel for the sake of the character himself.

**Review Question! **

**Assume you were asked out by Castiel, Dean or Sam, what would you do to get ready for the date? **


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